This is not going to be some bullshit clickbait jiu jitsu Christmas wishlist
But I will talk today about communion.
Not communion with Christ via the sacrament, which I expect is the primary context for that word in most people’s mind. I’m talking about communion — general — not communion — specific —.
Like many, I started jiu jitsu because of a nebulous notion of wanting the ability to defend myself. I’d been interested in martial arts broadly for a long time. I lifted weights consistently. I ate pretty healthily. It was the logical next step in my personal perfection progression.
The first six to nine months were miserable. None of the techniques worked. I was always in pain. I had to psyche myself up to attend class.
I often wonder how and why I stuck with it.
Some sort of stubbornness maybe, some desire to achieve ultimate-badassness. Maybe I just saw enough heroic movies as a young person, movies where the novice struggles through an upbeat montage before earning his place as the champion, that I just accepted the inevitability of my misery.
Fortunately that’s no longer an accurate description of my relationship to jiu jitsu.
But that original motivation isn’t the same either. I no longer think daily about my development as a complete martial artist, or about how I can prepare myself for the inevitability of violent interpersonal conflict out on The Streets.
Jiu jitsu is no longer about self defense, or esoteric self development, or even exercise. It’s about being in the company of the people I love.
But wait, aren’t spirit martial arts just Bullshido?
I’d probably rephrase that definition to include the word emotion, maybe even fully replace spiritual with emotional. I’m not saying there is no place for spiritual development in martial arts, but other than semi-spiritual qualities like grit, perseverance, and fortitude, I don’t think our modern context has much space for spiritual development.
And that’s okay. If that’s what you’re after, there are communities for that.
The key word here is community anyway. Community and communion have the same root. In fact, I’d simply the formal definition of communion to say, “the act of participating in community”.
That’s what jiu jitsu has become for me over the years, a community. I look forward to Saturday open mat less because its a chance for me to sharpen my skills or prepare for violence, but because its a chance for me to spend time with people I genuinely like.
Fuzzy feelings of brotherly love notwithstanding, there’s still an “esprit de corps of shared suffering”. Jiu jitsu as a practice is self flagellation, it’s self-imposed, self-motivated hazing. You can have the kindest, most considerate training partners, and jiu jitsu is still going to hurt.
This shared suffering is at the root of jiu jitsu’s power as the touchstone of a community. Everyone present really wants to be there. Everyone who is a part of the community has shown, through their actions, not simply their words, that this really-freaking-weird-pastime that you have in common is important to them. Everyone has shown you who they really are, beneath their veneer of civilization, behind their socialized masks.
If you’ve stuck it out at my home gym for a season or more, I’ve seen how you respond to hardship, to success, to failure, to pain. If I roll with you for a 5-minute round, maybe two, I know your personality better than everyone but your most intimate friends and family. I don’t know your story. But I know who you are.
That’s the power of our communion. That’s why our communities can so easily grow to be so strong.
But its a holiday! What if you need extra-special communion?
If you’ve never done jiu jitsu while traveling, I gotta say, you’re missing out.
One of my coolest, most humanizing experiences has been having a ready-made community wherever I go. I always travel with my jiu jitsu gear, just in case there’s a club nearby (and just ignore that “just in case bit”, because you know I google all the local clubs whenever I travel, and even go out of my way to swing by).
The same can be said about cross-town cross-training. If you don’t go to open mats at other gyms in your local area, you should.
Recall what I said above about getting a feel for a person’s personality in just a single roll. If you are cool (and I’m sure that you are), then people will be able to feel it. If you’re traveling, build some free time into your schedule. Drop in to an open mat while you’re on the road. Keep some extra time open for after. Tell people you’re from out of town, see if anyone wants to grab a bite (bread and wine = communion after all). I guarantee someone will.
Jiu jitsu is a crucible of community building.
It burns the bad people out of the community and they fall by the wayside. It burns the bad parts off of the good people and makes them better to be around.
Come for the martial arts. Stay for the community.
Good Hunting,
Charles